so i’m at the place where the band where my friend is a bass player plays fucking digging their show because they sound alot better now than they did the last time i watched them, about a year ago.. i hang out with my friends and get a beer and my friend goes “hey you want to go backstage?” and i’m all “ahh, i don’t know man i haven’t talked to [bass player] for a while and i guess it’d seem weird and like i don’t belong there man” and he goes “nahh that’s cool man come on” and i agree. so i’m walking down the hallway to the backstage area where i suppose i’d be welcome with some awkward undertones from the other band members (who i don’t know) and i think to myself “nahh i don’t know this and this would be awkward and i don’t know these guys well enough and they’ve got chicks in there who are really into them so me being there would kinda fuck up their flow or whatever”… those are the words in my mind so i just turn around and tell my friend “nah i’m going home man, feeling kinda sleepy.. got some ideas for a song” and he’s all “okay man” and bail but in a kinda unresponsive manner.. so as i’m heading out of the hallway or corridor or whatever this fucking ugly piece of shit faggot dick bouncer comes up and passes me with these fucking nonchalant words “so someone doesn’t belong here, huh?” and i’m all thinking in my mind “fuck you dude. you’re a piece of shit.” because this fucking turn of events kinda sucked for me cause it made me realize i’m not as outgoing as i used to be and most of my friends have moved to study at university and shit so i’m lonely… (also i’ve gained weight, not enough to be considered fat but still.. i mean i make it up in charm and my fucking cool smile so i can still get with girls and stuff so i don’t have aspergers or anything).. all i can reply with to this fucking huge muscular asshole is (nah i’m going home) in a FUCKED UP VOICE because i had no voice left from singing yesterday.. sounded like i was dying and i realised my glory days were over resulting in some fucked up wailing swan song or something… and i can’t fucking bare to face him.. in my mind i’m all fuck you man and i want to fight and fucking beat the shit out of him but i can’t because i’m not aggressive anymore and i try to b a cool, chill dude like i used to be and i don’t know man.. i want to fucking bring an axe to that asshole’s throat and bury him in a fucking dump. but i can’t. it’s not proper.